April 4, 2010

What a struggle Easter has been for me. There is all this candy around that I have been known to binge on. I have broke down and had a few pieces and feel so guilty for doing it. I also had a big salty dinner of ham, mashed potato's, sweet potato's and a roll with butter. Then had a snack of a ham sandwich. I feel awful because I don't want to resort back to old ways, but I am with my family and that is what our family does, eat. I finally bypassed my 332 this morning and got down to 330, but I think I gained it back today and that is totally frustrating, but I slacked today. Dennis did not. He ate a bit of ham and mashed potato's and green bean casserole, but he was hungry still after he ate and refused to eat anything else until we got home at 10 and had a salad. I need to stop doing what I did today, because I feel awful. Ham has tons of salt and there is ton of sodium in diet coke and I drank a lot of those today and I am probably going to retain a lot of water and I am sure my blood pressure is up. Why did I do this? Is it alright to do once in a while or is it like a recovering drug user just doing it every once in a while. I know that is not okay for them to do it, how can it be okay for me to do it. Ugh. I am struggling.